Sunbeams and Gremlins in the Same Weekend
I saw my friend and something different was showing on her face that afternoon. She was light, full of energy and there was a palpable shift in her demeanor. I asked her “what the hell is different about you?” and she said, “Jacqueline I just had the most amazing weekend of my life. I learned about energy levels and Gremlins.” I said, “What? You mean like the movie?” She said, “No, not the movie but the thoughts in your head that hold you back.”
After our deep conversation, I left her and I had this gnawing feeling in my heart. My head felt like it was going to explode. I wanted what she had & I didn’t know how to get it. On that same day, as if that wasn’t enough, another close friend was beaming from ear to ear and full of enthusiasm and said, “Jacqueline you won’t believe what I just experienced.” “Wait a second.” I said, “Were you two together and did you also learn about Gremlins?” With a resounding “Yes!”
How is it that two individuals on the same day came to me without the other knowing and shared an image of learning, discovery, freedom and wanted to share their experiences with me. “Life changing” if I recall was the phrase they used and sitting on the black leather couch in the corner of the building one of those friends, using her new language, began coaching me through a personal situation. There was a sense of empowerment and peace that I experienced through her and I craved it. In a way, I may have even been a little jealous. I had such a desire to learn how to get the life I knew I deserved, but I was holding myself back and I didn’t even know it. I didn’t know about limiting beliefs or assumptions or these things called Gremlins. This was all a mystery to me. I wanted to learn this secret language.
Feeling compelled, I explored the land of coaching that seemed to give my friends a feeling of lightness and understanding that I had not seen in them before. Needless to say, I made the calls and talked it over with the guy I was dating at the time. Feeling confused, he said “I’m just not sure how to support you Jacqueline. You work your day job, you’re doing art and now you want to be a coach?” Then add on the thousands of dollars it would cost and uncertainty of how to get that kind of money for enrollment. I felt disappointed that I wasn’t any closer to having beams of light shine out of my face too!
And then it happened, I dug in my heels, like I usually do and had a conversation with one of my friends in the program. She said, “Jacqueline, is it really the money or is it just a limiting belief you’re holding onto?” Damn it, again, this new language…feeling confused, I knew she was right. This had been how I was operating for a long time now, about 39 years long. She wanted to buy a lot of art work that I really had no place for in my home and she said she would write me a check. It was a lot of money for what I was used to having and my first thought was, what credit card bills can I pay off and then she said, ”This can be a down payment for the program.” That left me to find the remaining balance. I decided to pull the trigger and was totally geeked out of my mind about the possibilities.
The program invited me to bring along friend for the first session. I invited one of my more “open” peeps which allowed us to split the cost of the first weekend and “try before we buy.” What I experienced that weekend was nothing short of a transformation. It is as if what I’d been searching for and didn’t even know it, all came to me at the time I needed it most.
What transpired over the following year was some of the most painful yet enlightening journeys of my adulthood. I had to make difficult decisions to push through who ultimately, I saw myself becoming. If awareness and understanding was what I didn’t know I needed – I found much of it that year. I can look back and say I finally began to gain control of my thoughts and feelings while releasing being at the effect of other’s actions. I began to break free of the recurring negative feedback loop that I became so accustomed to in my head. That inner voice that second-guessed other’s actions, that told me “I wasn’t good enough” or undeserving or that even manifested negative experiences was finally becoming smaller.
This began a new shift in experiences in my corporate life, but first I had to convince to my boss how dealerships needed to learn about Gremlins too!
Jacqueline Jasionowski is the founder of Shift Awake Group. Her “soul” mission is to help others connect with their purpose through a higher level of consciousness that will both drive results and enable innovation along the way. Please contact 614.403.6540 for info.